Why Mike Vrabel Is Lying, Why Dolly Parton Isn't, and What Blake Lively's Settlement Reveals
What do a Patriots head coach, a country legend, and a Hollywood power couple have in common? They all just gave us a master class in what trust actually is. Or isn't. The thread connecting this week's stories is the difference between managing a message and actually meaning it.
This week's roundup isn't about three scandals. It's about one question every leader eventually has to answer: Did you tell them the truth, or did you tell them what you thought would work?
The cases:
Mike Vrabel and the Patriots are managing three crises stacked on top of each other, and they're treating it like one.
Dolly Parton released a direct-to-camera health update because her sister Frida was already posting prayer requests on Facebook.
Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds quietly settled with Justin Baldoni. No money, ten of thirteen claims thrown out. Same day, Blake walks the Met Gala carpet in archival Versace with a thirteen-foot train and a bespoke purse that turned out not to be bespoke.
The thread: Each crisis fell apart for the same reason. The response didn't match the record. Dolly's worked because she's never faked it. Vrabel's hasn't because everything keeps dripping. Blake and Ryan haven't because the machine they built to make themselves beloved finally turned on them.
The takeaway: Trust isn't a strategy. It's a track record. When you've never faked it, you don't have to prove you're being real. When you have, every move you make in the moment looks like another move.
Mentioned in this episode:
- May 14th Substack deep dive on Blake Lively, Ryan Reynolds, and Justin Baldoni (Thursday, 12:00 PM). Members get the replay.
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00:00 - The Thread Connecting Three Stories
01:03 - Vrabel And Roussini As A PR Crisis
04:00 - The Patriots Trust And Legacy Problem
09:04 - Dolly Parton Shares Hard Health News
11:18 - When Family Posts Create Brand Risk
13:37 - Blake Ryan And PR Blowback
16:08 - Trust Comes From Track Record
The Thread Connecting Three Stories
Molly McPhersonLet's do a bit of a roundup this week on the podcast. We have some recurring characters in the mix. The head coach again. That couple, that actress again, but also a beloved country star who made a surprisingly honest, but oh no, worrisome post. I chatted about all of these on my live last Friday on Substack, and I want to bring you the roundup because there was a thread that connected all the story, the difference between managing a message and actually meaning it. Hey there, welcome back to the podcast. I'm your host, Molly McPherson. So last week on the Substack live chat, I mentioned a number of stories. I had just finished an interview with USA Today, their NFL sports reporter. He wanted to talk about Mike Vrabel and Diana Roussini, not the tabloid aspect of it all, but the PR. I've been turning down a lot of media interviews of late because they take too much time. And honestly, I'm of this mindset right now, particularly when I hear about the ratings for the CBS Evening News, that there are posts of mine that get more views than CBS Evening News. I like speaking with reporters. I like doing interviews around trending stories, but I don't like doing them when they collide with my schedule. And I told the community on the live chat, I would rather just share the information with everyone in the community instead of taking the time and putting it on someone else's broadcast. Why not just have it on mine? But this reporter, I definitely chose to speak with him because he wanted to look at the Mike Frabel story for what it was, what I think it is. It's really a PR story. Yeah, it's a sports story, it's a gossip story, it's scandal, it's journalism ethics, but it's a number of crises all wearing one headline. And the quick recap again for this week's long story. I was speaking in Branson, Missouri last week. And as I was speaking, my phone was blowing up. And then after I left, I noticed it was my son forwarding me the TMZ video of Mike Rabel and Diana Rossini, filmed years ago, likely when he was the coach of the Titans, Tennessee Titans, and they were going on a boat ride together, and she was visibly pregnant or allegedly uh visibly pregnant. And not surprising that there are more drops in this story, not at all. And I think I read somewhere that the person who shared that video said they just assumed it was Mike Vrabel with his wife. They had no idea. So you can imagine every single person who ever remembered taking a photo or video of Rabes, either in New England or in Tennessee, they're going back and looking at all their photos to see if it was Mrs. Vrabel or Diana Roussini. Bringing us back to the beginning, remember, Vrabel called any gossip speculating that he was having an affair with Diana Roussini as laughable because those photos that first appeared in page six lacked context. He wanted us to think that it was all nothing, a big nothing burger. But we know it wasn't. We know the athletic opened an internal investigation after they said there's nothing to see here. So Roussini, she gets pulled off her beat and then ultimately walks away from the job. So this reporter wanted to know my thoughts on what I thought was happening behind the scenes and what is really going on here. And what I said to him is crisis number one is a personal conduct story. Vrabel created a self-inflicted distraction for the Patriots. And he seems to know it. He's publicly discussed seeking counseling. He's publicly discussed that it's a private matter and something that he's handling within his family and with the team. But crisis number two is organizational ethics, not just the athletic, because that's a conflict of interest issue that the athletic, which is the sports arm that was acquired by the New York Times. But once Diana Roussini's story started to fall apart, she walked away from her job. But both of them deflected because likely they didn't know how much evidence page six had. So now the athletic comes out in full defense of Diana Roussini, but now they have a massive conflict of interest story because she's a reporter and she's covering the coach. She likely ran into a policy issue there. But crisis number three could be the gender double standard. She's out of a job. He's still in his job. My stand is yeah, it is unfortunate what happened to her. And even worse is that it looks like Vrabel kicked her to the curb as well. But I only look at her issue as a journalism ethics issue. It has nothing to do with her gender. As a reporter, her job is to tell the story, not sleep with the story. Vrabel, on the other hand, is treated more like this reckless coach, but his actions are redeemable, right? The reason why he's allowed to still be there is because it comes down to the organizational policy question. But this is the bigger scope. This is where it matters because Vrabel's reputation is inextricably tied with the Patriots. Now, the Patriots brought in QB Drake May, pure Drake May, of the wife and the Instagram. Everyone in New England loves these two as a couple. He came out with some quotes as well, and he's doing his job. He is staying in his lane. He's not defending the relationship, not weighing in on the ethics, not commenting on Roussini at all. He's only speaking to Vrabel as a coach and a person. And that's the correct scope for Drake May. And it does help Vrabel when his quarterback is supporting him. But what May also said is something that shows a crack. His quote, I believe that will resolve itself, end quote. That's the scandal. That's the issue that Mike Vrabel's dealing with. That's very passive. It's very loyal, but very passive. It sounds like the team is hoping the news cycle moves on. That's what I told the USA Today reporter. That is their strategic stance, crossing their fingers and hoping it moves on. And two rounds of nearly identical player quotes are starting to sound more coordinated rather than genuine. So the real question the public is asking isn't do the players like them? It should be, should we trust this organization? And no one on that team is answering that. And that's why I think the Patriots have a Hall of Fame problem with Bill Belichick and Robert Kraft and eventually Mike Vrabel. This comes down to legacy. Mike Vrabel will likely still be the coach at the beginning of the season. The Patriots have said so. They stood by him. But it wasn't Bob Kraft standing by him. It's just the Patriots as an organization. And I understand why they'd stand behind him. And honestly, if I were running the team, I'd stand behind him too. I wouldn't fire him for this because if you're going to fire Vrabel for having an affair, I mean, would there be coaches? Would there be football players left? I mean, not to sound snarky at it, but come on. So we can't hold a football team to a moral standard when it comes to cheating. However, I think what's going to happen is once the Patriots go sideways and their season doesn't do well, then Vrabel's tenure there becomes shaky. I said in the interview, if they don't win the Super Bowl next year, then Vrabel's going to be in a tough spot. The only way that Vrabel can get beyond this is if he wins the Super Bowl. I put my head down, I focus on my family, I focused on the team. And I wanted my players to trust that I would do whatever I could to make sure they not only got to the Super Bowl, but that they won the Super Bowl. But anything short of that, he's going to have troubles. All right, let's shift gears because this next story is the opposite of everything we just talked about. As someone in the direct messaging on Substack had mentioned in the morning, I saw the comment about Dolly Parton. So she's 80 years old. She posted a video this week sharing what she called some good news and a little bad news. The bad news, she's dealing with kidney stones, an immune system issue, digestive problems, and she canceled her Las Vegas residency. So she's staying off the stage for now. And how did she deliver this? Quote, Lord, they dig more stones out of me a year than the Rock Quarry in Rockwood, Tennessee. End quote. I love Dolly Parton so much. Oh, she also talked about her treatments making her swimmy headed, which she said was her grandmother's words. And she joked about not being able to carry banjos and her guitars on her five-inch heels. I love her so much. So she's telling you she's sick. She's telling you she can't perform. And she's doing it in a way that makes you smile. And that's not spin. That's Dolly. And she's not waiting for Tam Z or someone else to break it. But the complication for Dolly Parton is that these aren't statements that she's putting out to let the public know what's going on. It's likely in response to her sisters. I had asked on the chat, I could not remember the sister's name because someone, Angie, in the chat said, Stella, like made a comment about Stella. And I said, wait a minute, who's Stella? And she said, that's Dolly's sister. I said, I don't think I remember her name being Stella because I recorded a podcast video months ago, the first time this happened. And I said, No, I remember the name. It was, it started with an F, I think, or it sounded like it was a sister name. And someone looked it up on the chat. And sure enough, it was Frida. I was like, that's it. It's F in Deirdre. That was the name. It was Frida. Frida was the one asking for prayers. So last week, prior to seeing Dolly's video, I saw Dolly's sister say again, please pray for Dolly. So Dolly is doing everything spot on. However, Dolly's PR team is missing giving the sisters the memo that they cannot post things like that on Facebook because it sends people into a frenzy when people think something's gonna happen to Dolly. And Dolly, and there's more at stake just than the public having an undying, undying loyalty to her. I mean, she has a business. She has Dollywood. She was working on a Broadway musical. She has the museum, a hotel in Nashville. She has so many things at stake there. So if she's not healthy, all of those other things come into risk. So that's why you need to have Dolly being healthy. And if Dolly isn't healthy, she's gonna let us know on her terms, which is exactly what she did, which is exactly what you should be doing. However, I think she's being pushed just a little because of the sisters. But compare what Dolly did to what we just talked about with Vrabel. When trust is already there, you can deliver hard news and people lean in. Mike Vrabel had trust. I mean, maybe not Dolly Parton Trust, but in New England, people trusted in Vrabel. But when the trust is there, you can deliver bad news. You can deliver news about an affair that you had. You're letting people down, but because there's such goodwill there, people are going to work with you to get you through it if you have accountability. But Vrabel refuses to take accountability. And now there's been reports that his Twitter burner account was exposed and he was defending himself and going after other creators and smaller creators who were saying things about him. So thank goodness I wasn't on Twitter. But the trust is broken. That's the problem for Mike Vrabel because he won't take accountability, not for having an affair. This is not like a pearl-clutching moment. Oh, our coach is having an affair. No, it said he's lying about it. And he's expecting everyone to go along with it. That's the trust that breaks. And that's the doctrine. Trust isn't about what you say in the moment. It's about everything you said before that moment arrived. And then the last segment, I talked about Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds because I did promote that this Thursday, May 14th at 12 p.m., I'm doing my deep dive on Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds and Justin Beldoney. I just want to look at the PR of it all and the reputation, where they were coming in and where they are coming out, and reverse engineering some of the versions that we've seen out there. And many of you saw last week that Blake settled her remaining claims against Justin Beldoney and Wayfarer Studios, maybe because Justin Baldoney's attorney, Brian Friedman, is saying that he got a phone call, but nothing's official. No money's changed hands. But it's not surprising she did this after the judge threw out 10 of 13 claims, including the sexual harassment allegations. But then the same day that she settles, she shows up at the Met Gala wearing this archival Versace gown with a 13-foot train. So the image it was creating with her purse that she was claiming that was a bespoke purse. And it turns out it wasn't. It was not mass-produced, but produced for plenty of people to have the same purse. And she had these guys like following her. And it was such a bad look. You just wonder like, who really, really is it Leslie Stone, her publicist? Like, who is in her ear telling her to do what she's doing? And I think that person is Ryan Reynolds. Because this isn't really a story about Blake Lively anymore. Not anymore. It's a Ryan Reynolds story, in my opinion. And it's about what happens when the machine you built to make yourself beloved turns on you. Ryan Reynolds is one of the great personal brand engineers of our recent time. The self-deprecating humor, the fourth wall breaking, the carefully crafted, I'm just a regular guy who happens to be incredibly famous, Deadpool. But also he makes a lot of money. But when the Baldoni situation escalated, Reynolds was reaching for the same playbook, the same tricks, trying to control the narrative. And it just blew back in their faces. And that's what we're seeing. So if you want more information on this, join me on my deep dive Thursday, May 14th at 12 p.m. If you can't join us, you will get the replay if you are in the membership. So those are three stories. We have our laughable coach, we have our country legend, and we have a Hollywood brand that treated a harassment case like a PR campaign. And the pattern is this people can tell when you mean it. Dolly Parton, she means it every time. That's why she can tell you she's sick, but she's gonna be fine. Don't worry about her brand. And even if it's not true and the sickness is deeper, we all want to believe what Dolly believes. So, Dolly, we're with you. But Vrabel, when he says that his affair is laughable, maybe people would have believed it if that was it, but it's not it. Everything keeps dripping, dripping, dripping, dripping. And that's why the story keeps growing. And Blake and Ryan meant it when they were building a brand, but they didn't mean it when they tried to use that same machinery to win a legal and public opinion battle. The audience caught the switch between the two. Trust isn't a strategy, it's a track record. And when the crisis comes, your track record is the only thing that speaks for you. So let me leave you with this. Think about the last time you had to deliver hard news at work, at home, to someone who was counting on you. Did you manage the message or did you tell them the truth? Now think about an incident where someone did that with you. Did someone try to spin you? Or did they tell you the hard truth? See how that feels. That's why we have a Ryan Reynolds and a Blake Lively, and that's why we have a Dolly Parton. And that's why Mike Vrabel is still dealing with TMZ week after week after week. The difference between Dolly Parton and everyone else we talked about today is in talent or fame or PR resources. It's that Dolly has never once tried to be anyone other than who she is. And when you've never faked it, you don't have to prove you're being real. That's all for this week on the podcast. Thanks so much for listening. Bye for now.